My testimony 2020 The Year the Impossible Happened Luke 18:27 (from my late blog Magick and Prayer)


Published Post 
06/22/2020, 12:11 PM

My testimony 2020 The Year the Impossible Happened 

In June/July 2018, I witnessed something that I thought would separate Jesus and I forever. I don’t want to get into that here but the gist is that I decided to cleave Christianity from my life forever. I didn’t want to belong to a Faith based on fear and what I felt was hate filled. I had no anger or hate for Jesus but to His people and His church. I was ready to be done with it forever. 

Sometime in 2019 I still was struggling with finding my path in Spirituality. A dear friend of mine challenged me to leave both Christianity and Paganism alone. To not try and fit into a box, but to learn myself better and just chill out. So that’s what I did. I spent time reflecting on myself. Learning what I believed in and what I felt strongly about. 

I sat quietly for a long time.  I waited for a patron deity to call to me like times before, but no one came to me. Well, no one that I was expecting. Jesus did try to call me a few times but I ignored Him. He wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to be a Christian not like the way I was before. I didn’t want to be judgemental or intolerant of others. That is how my “Christian lives” were before. I Didn’t Want That. 

So I ignored His call and waited for a Goddess to call on me. That’s what I thought I wanted. That’s where my comfort level was. Until one morning. 

Someone sent me a simple meme that sent my blood boiling, once again I don’t want to get into that here but I felt a jealousy that was unlike any that I’ve felt. That coupled with a few other related incidents I felt Jesus calling for me again. While I was still wary, I decided to start talking to Him. I wanted to let Him know how I felt and what was laying on my heart. I still wasn’t ready to be a Christian. I spent time with Him for a few days. 

Then one evening I was ready. I prayed and opened my heart and soul to Him. I shared everything that I was and kept nothing hidden. I came to Him as me not as a child raised in His faith. I came to Him with no preconceived notions. 

Once again I never disbelieved that He was the Son of God, born of a virgin, that He died on the cross for all of us, that on the day He died He took all my sins away, that He rose again 3 days later and one day one day He is coming back for me!!  All I had to do to be His was believe in all that, ask Him for forgiveness, and ask Him to be my One True God. 

Simple enough, but I still didn’t want to use the term Christian, I was still afraid of it. Well I got away with that for a couple days then the Lord let me know that I was a Christian that I was one of His people. I don’t have to fear that term but I do have to live up to it. I have to strive to live as Christ lived to love like Christ loved. To be kind and be gentle to love unconditionally. (All three of this characteristics I strived for in my quiet/down time. Be Kind, Stay Gentle, Love Unconditionally). Amazing how life works!  So it’s my job as a Christian to love all those around me, treat others as I want to be treated. 

My heart feels so light right now and I just feel amazing. I know my track record is insane but I don’t want to let this go. I can’t. I have a lot of work ahead of me but I’m pretty excited to see what’s around the bend. 

But he said, “What is impossible with men is possible with God.” Luke 18:27

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