From Magick to Prayer Revived

So this past week has been haywire and chaotic and those that know me best are probably saying, ok what else is new.  Well let me tell you. Late last week around 3am I was awakened by severe heartburn and stabbing chest pains. The pains lasting maybe 45 minutes. Not normal for me but not enough to really make me worried, but Sunday evening after I dropped my girls off at my mom’s I was heading back home. I was leaving Mallow when it felt that someone reached over and turned off the right side of my brain. Yes seriously the right side. My mind went completely blank, my vision went haywire and my automatic responses stopped. First thing I did was pray, Lord get me home. Lord get me home. I was terrified.  I was coming to a turn and I didn’t know if I could make it. I actually had to force my arms to turn. Thankfully I did make it home, but this state lasted for at least a half an hour. I stood around, unable to think clearly. My husband had to tell me everything I needed to do. ...

Ok so I had a blog named Magick 2 Prayer, started in 2015. I kept it around for 5 years. It pretty much rode along on my ups and downs in my ping pong Christian this week/Pagan the next relationship. Everything I said in that blog was from my heart but I didn’t feel right about them. Something was off.  Then I had the blog Magick and Prayer, it was very very recent. That’s when I stated that I believed in Magick and Christ. You’ll find some of my blog posts in this new blog. I wanted them here to kind of show where my thought process started and the trail to where I am today.  I decided to delete both of those blogs and create this revived one as a new clean slate. Even though I originally “received Christ in my heart in 85 at the tender age of 5” I didn’t truly receive him with no strings attached until two weeks ago. I thought I gave Him my all before hand but if that was the case then why did I fall from Grace so many times and why did I keep finding myself looking back at ...

Published Post   06/22/2020, 12:11 PM My testimony 2020 The Year the Impossible Happened  In June/July 2018, I witnessed something that I thought would separate Jesus and I forever. I don’t want to get into that here but the gist is that I decided to cleave Christianity from my life forever. I didn’t want to belong to a Faith based on fear and what I felt was hate filled. I had no anger or hate for Jesus but to His people and His church. I was ready to be done with it forever.  Sometime in 2019 I still was struggling with finding my path in Spirituality. A dear friend of mine challenged me to leave both Christianity and Paganism alone. To not try and fit into a box, but to learn myself better and just chill out. So that’s what I did. I spent time reflecting on myself. Learning what I believed in and what I felt strongly about.  I sat quietly for a long time.  I waited for a patron deity to call to me like times before, but no one came to me. Well, no one that I ...

Published Post   06/15/2020, 17:56 PM Update to my first entry So here’s what’s going on in my life right now. As I’ve stated before, Faith is not just a phrase I use to get attention or elevate myself. Faith is every fiber of my being. It is my reason for existence. It entails the direction of my life and every choice I make. It is the most important thing to me. I don’t take it lightly at all, and I guess that is why I stress over it so very much.  I’ve been sitting quietly for some time just meditating on where my path is headed and I’ve been without a patron/deity for a long time. I’ve been waiting on a name. Just to clarify, I don’t want to choose my god I want to be chosen. That is how I came to find Morrigan, Eris, and Selene. And I really expected another goddess to come into my life. I was not expecting this guy to come knocking, although I should not have been surprised.  A year or so ago I formally cut ties with the Christian Faith and I thought that would have...

Published Post   05/03/2020, 14:18 PM Let me be 100% honest here (with myself) I’m going to make statements here with no fear, no guilt, no sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I am not a Christian, I am not a Wiccan. Although I believe in many deities and the many as one, I don’t consider myself a Pagan While the term Witch is pretty accurate with what I am, I am not comfortable using that word for myself. I am Magickal, I believe in Magick, I use Magick on a regular basis. I am gifted, I am Blessed. I am a Unique being. There isn’t really anyone else quite like me. I believe in Prayer, I believe there is strong power in Prayer. I myself believe that Magick and Prayer are one and the same. It involves Faith, Strength, and Heart.  I believe in Jesus, the man and the Son. I believe that He was born of a virgin, that He died a tragic death, that He rose again and ascended to heaven. I believe that He is the Son of God. I do have a problem calling Him my Lord and Sav...

Published Post   04/23/2020, 17:16 PM (Don’t) Let It Go As my 6 yo and I were doing schoolwork in the kitchen, she and I broke out in song (trust me it’s not that unusual.  The song?  Show Yourself - Frozen 2. The first time that I heard those lyrics, I broke into embarrassing baby sobs. Today was no different, I burst into tears again. That song was written for me, about me. Well it could have been.  I identified with Elsa from the moment I heard her story in 2013. A girl born into powers that people wanted her to hide. They told her that they were unnatural, wrong, and evil. I get it, I’ve been through the same. I knew since I was little that I was different. But I never thought anything of it until I was 16, then again in 2004.  When I watched Frozen 2 and Elsa discovered that everything that she was looking for was already inside her and that she was the center/spirit, it was like Bang!  There I am again. I’ve been searching and searching for a Faith to...